January 6, 2013

  • Falling for a Long-Time Friend


    Hi, I'm Ashley. I have this long-time friend I've known since I was 11. However, I just recently started liking him. I don't know how to tell him nor do I know how he will react if I did tell him because we've been friends for so long. I really don't know how he would take it or how it's going to affect our friendship. And if I do tell him, I don't know if he's going to continue being my friend. Mostly, I don't want to lose him as a friend.

    But how do you decide between a friendship and what your heart yearns for? Is a friendship worth risking for your desires?

    What should I do?

Comments (11)

  • First of all... let's focus on you and your feelings. How long have you been feeling this way? Does this feel like a passing crush, or could it potentially lead to more? Do you tend to fall in and out of like often and easily? The bottom line is... if your feelings for him are deep and impossible to ignore, and you feel as though you need to tell him, to see if there is something more there, then tell him.Get him alone, and tell him that some feelings of more than friendship have been sneaking up on you, and that you're wondering if he's feeling anything similar. Make sure to let him know that his friendship means a lot to you, and that you don't want to lose him. That you'll be okay, if he just wants to be friends-- but that you just had to at least try. Think hard, before saying anything to him because, for some people, that is hard to bounce back from. It can be worth it, though, if your feelings are strong... you never know; he might feel similarly. =) I wish you the best of luck!

  • It's better to tell him your true feelings for him than to always sit and wonder, and worse, see him as the years go by date other girls. Just ask him out on a date, stress free. Let him know your okay with also being just friends. Ask him if he feels similarly. If he doesn't feel the same way then its nothing lost, since if he is a good friend he will stick by your side! I feel like you have nothing to really lose here. Good luck .

  • Hello Dear.Am very happy to meet you here today.My name is Seline Machar, Am 23 years old,  from Sudan Northern Africa. A young lovely girl. I wanted to know if you are interested of being a good friend to me. So that we can go into a good relationship to know more about each other better. So am interested in knowing you the more you. I believe, Age, color, or use of language can not stop our friendship, all I need is a trusted and reliable friend. If you are interested in knowing more about me, you can write me back through my email address here (macharseline@yahoo.com) so that we can share our details to kno more about our self's. Thanks am waiting.

  • Love happens.. flirt with him..touch him like a girlfriend would...(no, not his private parts, silly)..but, you know, gently...on his arm, his back, etc.. Smile at him.. let your glances linger a bit..You will find out whether he is interested or not.. believe me.. And, sometimes, long-term friendships are the best way to start a romance. Good luck..

  • I'm in a similar situation, although I haven't known him since I was 11.  I met him in April.  Except he's long distance now and has gone to another town for a few months to finish up his degree then he may be back permanently or for a while at least.  I don't know what to do with it, either.  However, I have flirted with him and I think he can tell, sorta even without me flat out saying it.  Haha, he told me about his blog, but it's a travel blog and I read it and he talked about when on his trip he could tell one of the new girls liked him.  I haven't said anything because he's long distance for now and I know that already won't work out.  Plus I would like him to have fun in his last semester and if it was really meant to be it'd work out after he came back.When he was in town, he asked me to text him about hanging out and I'd like to think that was his way of seeing if I'm interested in him back or not.  I don't want to tell him to make things awkward at the moment, etc.This is something that definitely needs to be discussed in person so it is not misinterpreted over text/the phone.  That, I know for sure.

  • Each decision is on a personal level. What will happen if he DOES NOT  feel the same? Could you move on as friends? Will you be ok if you can't? Will it be awkward? What will happen if he DOES feel the same? How will you feel if you become closer on a romantic level but it does not work out later on? There are many questions that you must answer before taking such a step. It is difficult. Sometimes it works out great to be a with a close friend while other times it is most important to just be content with being friends with that person so that they are simply a part of their lives. Honesty is important to any relationship, but you must be absolutely sure of how you feel and the consequences that come along with those feelings.

  • maybe ask him what he would do if he were in your shoes? see what he says, and then maybe go from there. who knows, maybe he'd say that he's actually in the same boat, and wondering the same thing. good luck!

  • as harry once said, "you realize of course that we can never be friends"

  • I was in this situation about a month ago. It was tearing me apart. Every time I talked to my friend, all I could think about was whether or not I could chance our friendship. In the end, he took me to a party where he got me drunk for the first time ever. We ended up cuddling the whole time. The next day, we were dating. I guess the point is that it's gonna come out eventually. Just tell him. 

  • My best friend started to like me in high school, but I didn't like him. He told me, but I just told him I didn't feel the same way. We stayed best friends.Then I discovered that I had feelings for him, too. Now we're married. :) Just tell him.

  • I started liking one of my best friends, and when I told him, he said he had a girlfriend that lived in another state and that they were in a long distance relationship. I was very, very crushed. I forgot how easily I could be rejected. I was very sad at first, but then eventually, I went to bed, got over it, and we still remain good friends to this day. I say go for it - you'll regret it if you don't.

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