July 22, 2013
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The Monthly Question: Is It Worth It?
Last night, I got a text from my friend, Halle*. It was a text I had gotten about once every four weeks since summer started. Around the same time she was reunited with her long-distance boyfriend. Around the same time she stopped using her birth control. The text read, in all caps, "NOT PREGNANT WAHOOOO."
For the past two years (about as long as I have know her), Halle has been struggling with some health issues. In addition to completely altering her lifestyle and diet choices, her doctor finally suggested she go off her birth control to ease some of her symptoms. She immediately complied.
What she did not stop, however, was having sex with her boyfriend. Considering they go to schools in different states, they do not often see each other as it is. So, when they are in the same place, they are eager to be intimate again. They use condoms, but never having had sex without the pill before, Halle still worries about pregnancy.
Each month, as she nears the time of her period, she starts to panic. "Why hasn't it come today?" "Did that last condom somehow break without us knowing?" "Am I pregnant??" Before this summer, Halle had never had sex while being off the pill, so only using condoms feels odd and risky to her. (Of course, not risky enough to not be intimate with her long-term boyfriend, but still.)
How can Halle put her mind at ease? What form(s) of birth control work for you? Are condoms enough? Have you ever been concerned about a pregnancy?
Comments (21)
Tracking your cycle, in addition to condom use, should be enough to put her mind at ease. Abstaining (or using alternative sex acts) during her fertile period is a great way of avoiding pregnancy. I'm going one year and six months strong without pregnancy using this method.
She needs to tell her boyfriend to man up and get the snip. Dudes, it ain't that bad, I promise. It'll be the best thing you ever do for yourself.
when the river runs red, i'll take the dirt road instead.
Well, she can use several birth control methods and that will increase her probability that if one method happens to fail, the other one will cover for it. Think of it as a redundant system that will safeguard against pregancy if the condom happens to break. For example, use a condom with spermicide gel while using the calender cycle method and pulling out when he cums. The chances of all those things failing at once is pretty low. The down side to this is that spermicide and condom cost does tend to add up over time.As for a vasectomy, I would strongly advise against that in someone so young because he might change his mind and want kids later on. It may be easy to get the snip but undoing it is a whole other story.
@nonurbusinessyo@xanga - I got it done when I was 23. Why anyone would want to have to deal with kids is beyond me (they're expensive, noisy, annoying, and they stink) but if one really wants to commit the supreme act of evil (procreation) after vasectomy, they do allow you to bank your own sperm before the procedure, and let's not forget there is adoption which is a more ethical means of parenthood than is procreation.
lol: who thought the vasectomy was a viable suggestion from a blogpage. ... wait, DON'T LET HIM DO THAT.Meanwhile, yeah, track the cycle, snap on the glove, pull out.... go anal. Lots of options. yay.
Instead of sleeping with a guy she doesn't want to have a baby with, why doesn't she go out and f--k a guy she does want to have a baby with?It's better to go 6 months without sex than to go the rest of your life raising a child with someone that you didn't want to have a baby with.
if this is such as a case, sex is no longer enjoyable even to say worth it !
spermicidal jelly
...She sends you a text every month to let you know she got her period?
Diaphragms have fallen out of popularity in our generation but they're effective and ok to combine with condoms (unlike female condoms, which are not ok to combine). The downside is they require using spermicidal gel, so if she's sensitive to that, it may not be a good choice. But no hormonal side effects.
I second tracking her cycles but what about the Copper IUD?? There's no hormones in it 0.o might keep her mind at ease more.
@TheNotoriousGOD@xanga - HAHAHAHAHAHHAHAHAA. Dying.
There are other birth control methods besides the pill. She could be fitted for a diaphragm or a cervical cap. She can use a sponge and spermicidal jelly. There are also condoms with spermicidal lubricant.@Ashioz@xanga - Most doctors won't implant an IUD in someone who has not had children yet, as it has a higher risk of falling out, migrating, or implanting itself within the uterine wall.
She could... wait for it...not have sex!My second pregnancy was a condom failure.You can combine condoms with a diaphragm and spermicide, as well as tracking ovulation and avoiding the week before and couple days after, if her cycle is regular.
@secretbeerreporter@xanga - My dad has been in pain for the past 14 years from having a vasectomy.
@VampireOfSeduction@xanga - You do realize how rare post-vasectomy pain syndrome is, don't you? It's so rare it shouldn't even be a consideration. I'm three years out and have been pain-free since three days after I had mine done. Also, that was more of a problem with the old techniques where the vasa deferentia were clipped rather than cauterized as they are now.
Not sure how someone could be 100% secure about pregnancy rather than abstaining. My best friend is on birth control but because she was a birth control baby herself, she feels worried every month until her cycle comes.
I use the pill as well as condoms with spermicide. If I happen to get pregnant, I'll have an abortion. Which really does put my mind at ease.
@chronic_masticator@xanga - This used to be the case, but now a lot of doctors WILL do it.. And usually migration/implantation into the wall happens at the time of insertion due to incorrect insertion. Some doctors actually will use an ultrasound while implanting it.
How about this...if she doesn't want to risk getting pregnant, SHE SHOULD NOT HAVE SEX. Is that really so hard? She shouldn't be having sex unless she's married anyway. There are lots of other ways to be intimate!
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