July 25, 2013
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Wandering Eyes: Is It Okay To Look?
Honestly, it doesn't bother me if my boyfriend looks at other women. I don't think there's anything wrong with looking if you're in a relationship, as long as you aren't touching! I can appreciate a pretty or beautiful woman, and my boyfriend can appreciate a handsome man. My boyfriend isn't the type whose jaw drops to the floor and starts drooling every time he sees someone attractive, and he doesn't hide it from me if he sees someone pretty. We are both very open with each other, so if I see a guy I think is good looking, I would mention it to him, and vice versa.I think I've always been very confident in our relationship together and after four years, I don't really think a glance or two will really change anything. One of my friends is completely the opposite. She's told me many times about how one of the keys to a successful relationship is making sure your SO's eyes are always on you, and you alone. To a certain extent, I agree that your SO's eyes should always be on you, but I'm not worried about keeping his attention, so a glance is nothing to me. I just think it's a little ridiculous to pretend all other people don't exist. Girls look, guys look, everyone looks! I can appreciate a good looking guy but at the end of the day, my boyfriend is not just some good looking guy walking down the street. He's still one of the most important people in my life, and some random guy at a coffee shop isn't going to change that!
Can you appreciate a good-looking guy/girl while you're in a relationship? Is it okay to look, or is it unacceptable? Would it bother you if your SO saw someone they thought was attractive and mentioned it to you, or would you rather they keep it to themselves?
Comments (18)
I think that some looking can be disrespectful. Noticing someone is one thing but eye fucking them when your so is around is pretty inconsiderate.
I totally and completely agree with you! That's how my boyfriend and I are.
I think that being a hog can backfire pretty easily... I would never attempt to demand that my boyfriend suddenly find all other women unattractive. I still look-- guys can be pretty eye-candy. I expect my boyfriend to look and think other girls make good eye-candy. I think there would be something wrong with a relationship if all it took to ruin what you have is a glance at another female. I want my boyfriend to be in love with the person I am to him and the person I am to me-- and not be in love with just my looks. So yeah, IMO, go oogle. =}
just because someone looks pretty doesn't mean you wanna fuck them and ditch your current SO. It's fine to look, but don't be disrespectful about it if your SO is standing right next to you. I'd be really annoyed if the person my SO was looking at caught him checking her out and I was right next to him looking real dumb
Years ago I had just started dating someone and I forget how the conversation started but she mentioned someone I used to know and said something along the lines of "Ohh, he's soo hot." I just kinda looked at her like, wtf, I'm sitting right here. It probably wouldn't have bothered me as much except I don't think she had once given me any compliments on my comeliness. To me it seemed very rude, especially since I had only known her for maybe a few weeks. I didn't make an issue out of it but it made me feel a lot less close to her and it was the first of several red flags for that relationship.I think it's fine to look and maybe even to mention it after you've been together for awhile but early on definitely use some tact.
Lust is evil. If you don't mind your boyfriend letting impure thoughts corrupt his mind, body and soul then sure, let him look. I personally stick with men who see people as people, not unattractive/attractive.... fuckable/unfuckable. There's better things to use the mind for. But of course, that's the world we live in today. You're a weirdo if you don't sexualize everything and everyone.
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Yes it's natural to be attracted to the opposite sex and jealousy is also natural. So when you get into a relationship where there is a issue with this. Compromise. Work on not looking and work on the jealousy Both people need to work on it. Just because something is natural doesn't mean it doesn't hurt the other person.You're in a committed relationship, stop wondering. save your eyes and thoughts for your loved one. If you are focused on what you don't have you will never fully appreciate what you do have. I'm not saying you won't look and notice but the point is you're actively working on stopping... I know you are just appreciating the beauty but why not focus that thought on your partner... It might bring you closer.It's not about confidence, It's about being closer. Why do you need to appreciate another person like they are sex objects for you?
go ahead and look but don't be obnoxious and feel compelled to tell me to check out the hottie over there. if I notice that he gives more compliments to these strangers than me, then he is just being a jerk. I won't point out random guys but put david gandy as my phone's screensaver, computer's wallpaper, room's posters, and take out his picture from my wallet and replace it with the dreamiest and sexiest guy ever I swoon way harder than him he can join me and be a fangirl or be a debbie downer.
Nothing wrong with looking. But I think it depends on how you do it. It's one thing to have a glance at the attractive stranger that walks in. Staring at him/her all night and ignoring your SO is another.
@oneLBcloser@xanga - Just because you're looking at someone doesn't mean you're thinking of fucking them.Going through life not appreciating the beauty around you, be it people, plants, animals, buildings, artwork, or whatever is like walking through an art museum and looking at the floor. It's not always about sex. I've noticed there are often two kinds of people that make everything about sex: so-called perverts and people who are afraid of sex. The latter kind become just as obsessed as the former when they are constantly trying to avoid the topic, which actually makes a person think more about it rather than less.
@EccentricSiren@xanga - @oneLBcloser@xanga - As opposing as your views may seem, I agree with both of you to a degree.If you're not in a physical relationship I think it's fine to look (really, it becomes increasingly unavoidable the longer you go without getting any). If a person is in a relationship, I think they should go according to what their SO wants. Personally, even if she was okay with it, I wouldn't.
I'm sure everyone looks, but i DO NOT want to see my boyfriend checking someone out while I'm with him. I think that's extremely disrespectful. If he does look though, whatever... I just do NOT want to know about it.
As the saying goes: see see no touch.A little glance is fine, just make sure it's full on ogling.
i honestly don't mind my boyfriend checking out other girls. sometimes i even point them out for him. just as long as he doesn't make a move about it! i mean, it's pretty ridiculous to expect someone's eyes to be on you the ENTIRE time! there's a difference between looking appreciatively and just plain ogling disrespectfully.
Totally depends on the extent of said "looking". If he does the quick look up and down, or turns to me and is like, "Dayum, she's hot," then it's cool and yea, I will totally check her out, too lol. But if he looks like he's memorizing her face for nookie tonight, I'll tell him to put his eyes back in his skull.
I always point out hot girls/guys to my boyfriend. He doesn't do it as often, but if I point someone out he will look and we will talk about it. I'm also bisexual, so we can have a real conversation about it. He doesn't really like to look at other girls, or at least he doesn't tell me he does. =/ I point people out way more than he does. But I wouldn't care if he did it more. Monogamy is unnatural in the first place, so you can't blame other people for seeing an attractive person and checking them out.xX Ame ~*~ Hana Xx
If they are looking so much that they are ignoring you in public and stuff then it might be a problem but yeah it's going to happen.
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