August 1, 2013
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Why Is He Still Single?!
One of my favorite things to do is sit in my living room with some popcorn and watch old episode of Sex and the City! In this particular episode, Carrie was seeing this guy named Aidan. She's dated some good guys before but Aidan.. was perfect. He was driven, had his own furniture store, good-looking, tall, sweet, considerate, open to a long term commitment, and he cared about her! He was really.. almost the perfect guy. In about 3 or 4 episodes, Carrie keeps trying to find his fatal flaw. There has to be something wrong with this guy, how is he still single if he's so perfect?
The fact that they were so compatible, never fought, and agreed about everything became a problem and in the end contributed to their relationship's failure. In the above picture, she's having sex with Aidan when her ex, Mr. Big, calls. Mr. Big is one of the most emotionally unavailable and flawed guys Carrie has ever dated, and yet she still finds herself drawn to him. Some part of her desires the fact that she had to fight for her relationship with Mr. Big as opposed to Aidan, where everything was effortless. Everything with Aidan was too easy.I remember the first time I saw this episode and thought to myself, "Why would you give up a guy like Aidan who is willing to marry you right now, for a guy like Mr. Big where your future is uncertain and you never know what will happen?" But it's that uncertainty that keeps things interesting!
What do you all think? Have you ever dated someone who seemed too good to be true? Is your relationship effortless or do you have to put in some hard work every now and then? What would you prefer, an easy breezy relationship, or one with little bumps in the road? Personally I think the bumps in the road keep things interesting, but what do you think?
Comments (14)
See my comment on Her Last Resort.Copy/Pasted below for your convenience:The girl doesn't know whether she has already hit the jackpot in finding him or whether there is more to be won... which shows that she either doesn't know what she wants or what she wants is a trophy in the eyes of others. Either way, her selfishness is deleterious to his emotional health. After all, settling for a friend, even if he is the perfect guy in every way... there's clearly no glory in that.If my comment was too long for you to read or too complicated for you to understand...http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=j0s41oN1M_o^ this sums it up quite well.
Strange. I haven't watched SATC for years but I was JUST thinking about this in the morning. All the things you said about Aiden were true, plus he was much hotter than Big. I think women who end up with men like Mr. Big probably deserve them. I am glad Aiden turned out to go on with his life better without Sarah Jessica Horseface's character.
@Facetiouseloquence@xanga - "I think women who end up with men like Mr. Big probably deserve them. I am glad Aiden turned out to go on with his life better without Sarah Jessica Horseface's character."It happens sometimes by chance, but when it doesn't happen it's generally not romanticized and we don't really hear about it. I think it's irresponsible to rely on fate to make right the wrongs caused by personal choice (when left alone, nature tends to break down, not fix, things that are man-made), which is what happens when people believe there is an underlying mechanism for why things turn out the way they do. When ignorant to this truth, people recklessly act under assumptions like "He'll find someone else." - not always the case. The more people out there who think this way, the less often it will be true. For example, "I saw him picking his nose. I'm going to break up with him. He'll find someone else.". As you can imagine, people take advantage of such rationalizations and use them for trivial things. Sure he'll find someone else... who will more than likely do the same thing for one of an infinite number of reasons erroneously justified by the assumption that he'll probably find someone else until it is no longer probable. Kind of a bystander effect in which no one is apparently responsible, but in reality they all are. Expecting someone else (who may not even exist) to be a better person than oneself is a slippery slope.It must be realized that there are good people out there who would be happy with almost anyone, and at some point they were turned down under the assumption that they would find someone else and they never do. That's reality. The more people rely on fate to assume the responsibility they declined the more tragedies like that occur.Look for the bright side in all things, sure, but know that as you do, you'll be continually glorifying an increasingly small fraction of the story and your back is turned to what may very well be an ever-growing darkness; a plethora of problems that need to be addressed at some point. In summation, I don't think we should glorify chance outcomes like this one, not to mention when they're just television characters. Doing so takes time and attention away from working on real solutions to these and other issues.
The fact that she can find no fatal flaw IS the fatal flaw. The guy wasn't human because he had no flaws. Everyone needs to be able to relate to their significant other.
@Shadowrunner81@xanga - You're assuming that the person who is trying to relate is one who themselves is not flawless. That being the case, then they could relate!
@DenimPants@xanga - This exactly. Flawless is subjective. If you NEED to find a flaw in someone in order to be with them you should probably work on your insecurity before entering into any relationship. I think it's a defense mechanism... the person wants to find a flaw beforehand just so later on if the other person wants to break up they'll have a reason to not like them.Someone once said to me that a person should have a reason to enter a relationship rather than a reason to leave one. It's obvious that if you find yourself listing a person's flaws and coming up with reasons to not enter a relationship with them, it's because deep down you want to but you feel too vulnerable. I'm sorry, but if you don't feel vulnerable you're not in love.
I prefer easy, because I'm not a FOOL.
I can't stand it when someone obsesses about why someone else is single. It's like, can't a person be by themselves without someone questioning their motives? I have loved my time being single, and between boyfriends, I'll take as much time to myself as I need to just be with friends and not be obligated to someone else. My last bf actually asked me why I was still single, and it made me so mad... Because I'm 23 and don't absolutely need to be in a relationship in order for my life to have meaning? Shit, I don't know. People are single because they are happy being single, and they get into relationships because they're now tired of the single life. Sometimes, it's as simple as that.
You know what Aiden's real fatal flaw is? "That easy relationships make bad TV drama."
even if a person is totally fine and good looking and put together, finding a real connection, with someone you can love, is pretty rare i think. If it weren't, shit we wouldn't care so much about love stories. I didn't really have any "fatal flaws" i dont think but for a couple years in college i was single, just couldn't really find a guy i connected with. now i'm with one of my best friends from high school, but that evolved on it's own. idk.i think it is true though sometimes we get a little uncomfortable thinking the other person might be more perfect, but my boyfriend and i have both a TON in common but just enough differences in thought pattern to keep up interesting discussion once in a while lol.
Stupid girls. "I have it all, but now it's boring. I'm gonna go for the bad guy" Six months later "Why did I ever leave him?!"
People tend to go for the love they think they deserve
http://www.loveromancerelationship.com/the-husband-store-a-joke-or-is-it-true/
Carrie cheating on Aiden with Big was the final nail in the coffin of my distaste for her character. It sucks that her message was received by so many women... pick the guy that drives you nuts, rather than the one who is right for you. This will be perpetuated for generations to come. I see ALL of my friends doing the same thing.
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