August 4, 2013
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I Want to Text Him But...
Two nights ago I was texting with my good friend from school, Jill*. We were both out with friends, and she was telling me that a guy that used to like her had joined them. She was particularly excited because things had been weird between them before, but it seemed like they could start becoming good friends. I told her good luck and that we would talk the next day. The next morning, I texted her asking how it went with the guy. She said it went well although he did get a little too touchy for her taste at some points in the night. She said she had a good time with everyone and wanted to text him the next morning like she would normally do with her friends. However, she was a bit concerned.
As her night was coming to a close, Jill spoke to one of her other friends. He said that the guy still might be interested in her. This night was the first time Jill and this guy had hung out at night with friends. So, she really did want to text him to see how his night went. As mentioned before this is something she would normally do with a friend.
However, if he did still have some feelings for her, she did not want to "lead him on." Jill would not want her little "how was your night?" text to seem like something more.
Do you think Jill should text him anyway? Or should she think twice? Have you ever felt hesitant to contact someone because of possible implications?
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Comments (4)
My motto...when in doubt, don't. Let him chase her. Then, she will know he is interested. Chasing an elusive butterfly,,,she may get worn out and not be ready for the next wonderful guy who comes around.
I think "things had been weird between them" isn't the correct description for the situation. That means stuff like not talking for no good reason, or he once said something mean to her. If he liked her once, that is straightforward. She can either treat him "as a friend" and be prepared to tell him exactly that, or take things a bit slower than she would an established buddy in case his hopes have clicked in again given the contact.
If you truly believe you're not responsible for his happiness, you would text him because you want to (or don't) regardless of how you think he's going to react. Anything else is controlling.You want to do something with/to him that would make you happy (texting as a friend)...At the same time you don't want him to do something with/to you that would make him happy (pursuing a relationship).Bitches be power trippin'.
She can simply communicate her concern to him- reiterate that she just wants to be friends and leave it at that. If that's something that he can't deal with, then they don't have to be friends. If she'd prefer not to do that, she really doesn't have to text him to see how his night was. Also, if you're hanging out with someone, don't you already know how their night was? O.o
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