August 6, 2013
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Being Close With Family
After three years of dating, Andrew has spent plenty of time with my family. While I do roll my eyes from time to time when he hangs out with my dad, or gangs up on me with my sister, I am actually glad he gets along so well with my family.
When I first started dating him, I never considered "gets along well with my family" a major factor. Of course I wanted them to like each other, but I wasn't exactly dying for him to make best friends with them. Nevertheless, my mom considers him a child by extension, and my dad is more than grateful to have another male around the house.
Even though Andrew is extremely close with my family, I'm not as close with his. Of course I have met them and spent time with them, but I'm not at the level of comfort with his family that he has reached with mine. And I'm okay with it. My only concern is that they like me and that they think I'm good for Andrew.
How important is it for your significant other to fit in with your family? Is it a deal-breaker if they never get super close?
Comments (7)
Who gives a shit about family? They only get in the way anyway. When you grow up and move on, they're not supposed to be part of your life anymore, so why should it matter what they think of who you date?
to a certain extent importantat least my family members don't hate her, even if they don't like her that much
I've had negative experiences in the past when it comes to doing the whole family meet-up thing, so I'm always a little reluctant nowadays. I'm not opposed to it, but family can definitely change the dynamics of a relationship for better or worse.
family can also make it difficult to break up with someone
It doesn't matter to me. We'll sometimes spend time at his mom's, and I realize she doesn't hate me anymore. I get along with his step-father, but I'm not close to any of them. I'd LIKE to be close to his biological father, I met him once but really enjoyed it.As for my family, I don't want anyone to be close to them. I'm not. They were awful parents and if anyone I dated actually enjoyed spending time with them, I'd seriously wonder why.
I want my family to get along with them really well, but that does make it harder when it comes to breaking up. I just love it when my family like my SO and he likes them. Only happened once but it was awesome haha
My SO gets along wonderfully with my family and they just adore him. His family? Not so much with me. No idea why either. That kinda thing sucks. Normally I'd have called it a dealbreaker but now that I'm in the situation I'm in, where I have no idea what I "did wrong", I've re-evaluated my thinking and opinion and say it varies on circumstances.
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