August 6, 2013
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Guys and Gals Who Obsess About Guys and Gals
So there was once this guy who threw up rainbows and birds flew around him whistling songs of summer love. Every time I saw him, it rained candy from heaven. Right up until something... err, someone... got in the way. You see, said boy was in love with a girl who would never have him. That girl was obviously not me.He had made her into the epitome of perfection in his mind. You could say no wrong about her, he always had an excuse for her actions. He swore he didn't have an exaggerated view of her. He swore he wasn't crazy. He swore she was the one and only for him, and he had never even dated her.
So this guy no longer made candy rain from heaven in my book, because I concluded that since a perfectly wonderful girl like myself was right there for his taking and yet he'd still rather pine after this other chick, he was obviously mentally insane. I'm not the only girl that tried to distract him away from his pet crush. No one succeeded. And to my knowledge, he still is determined to win this other girl's heart someday... somehow.
At first my ego was crushed, but I've since realized I was not the flawed and undesirable one. He was.
Which makes me wonder...
Have any readers ever had this problem with someone they attempted to date?
OR
Do any readers have the problem of being the person hung up on someone else?
Comments (16)
I don't know. I've usually, if not always, been sort of Gorgeous. And men, and women, Love me. So, I've never been the girl who was on the side you are on. I'm the girl stringing along the guy working his ass off to get into my panties, and so saying, I have the authority over my own body to make that boy work to marry me. I'm actually pretty intelligent to live my life that way. So, the truth is, you don't even know if the girl he is pining for doesn't like him. She might like him, she might, like me, string him along to gain him some maturity and force him to go the extra mile for her. And she would be right to do it, just as I am.
sounds like he's a young puppy in love - not very experienced in the dating scene, but rather of the storybook idea of what a movie romance is supposed to be. Take a couple heartbreaks later and hopefully he'll return to reality
Okay, so the problem isn't that he's persistent and dedicated when it comes to getting exactly what (or rather, who) he wants and remains loyal to that person, but that the person doesn't return his affections. If we isolate the variable, it's the person he wants, not him, that determines what will happen.Her choices aren't something he can control, right? If you believe you can't change the way you feel, why should you expect him to? How is it fair to expect him to act against his feelings? Oh, that's right... because in this particular case you're the one who is fucked.Is it because you feel that his desires are unrealistic? So it's fair for a guy to say a girl has mental issues, is flawed and undesirable because she's holding out for what she truly wants and not settling for him?So of course he's the one with problems for not taking what is clearly the easier, more convenient route (i.e. you) and it's not that you're just being a hypocritical bitch.I hope you realize I'm saying this one-sidedly because you're taking one side when there are two points of view here. These things happen and neither person is at fault... but you're rationalizing away your pain by placing all the blame on him. It's not that he wants someone who doesn't want him. It's that he wants someone... anything more is circumstance.He's staying true to himself in the face of uncompromising fate. What are you doing?http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=nS246KKU5Dw
Pretty harsh calling him flawed and undesirable. Not everyone will be able to walk away like you did. I guess he likes her more than you liked him? Clearly you resent this other girl... but he cares about her a lot. It's not nice to project your insecurities at them. Move on to someone who wants you back.
If a girl isn't into me, I don't think she has problems for not recognizing how awesome I am (and I totally am, my mom told me so). A bruised ego sucks but don't lash out, it makes you look like a drama queen from a reality TV show. I sees it, I calls it.
Get your head out of your ass.
Doesn't this describe everyone's First Love?
he isn't sexually attracted to you like he is to this other girl. or that's the difference between my crushes and the friendzoned guys. I want both wonderful personality AND sex appeal. if the guy only has one or the other, he is just a friend or just a hot piece of meat. if you have BOTH, then i'd crush on him hard I don't just have one crush though. I have a few. all of them are triple, quadruple threats. I'm pretty sure that even a straight guy would admire my boss crush because he's just that charming I don't think they are that perfect. maybe he tosses his socks all over his room. what a turn off
@dovegrrl@xanga - I wholly agree with you. If the guy is a little too immature, arrogant, selfish, or whatever, it's not impossible to still like him and see potential. You don't HAVE to feed into it. If he truly wants you, he'll want to change. There's nothing wrong with making him work for it. The only reason girls avoid guys who have slight personality flaws is because it takes a little work and investment, and their vanity... it hurts their public image to openly want someone like that. I may seem to have contradicting "rules" but in your case I find it fair and just. If you're going to be "controlling", be open and fair about it and it's not inherently morally wrong UNLESS you're going give him the option to work for it and then just find someone else (in which case all his work was for nothing, and that I find unfair/wrong).In this situation it's not like he's wasting his time. If he's fine with being single, what's wrong with waiting and seeing if things change with her? The way this article is written seems to be in a certain mentality like you HAVE to be with someone to be happy... maybe he doesn't feel that need or that pressure. So why does he have "mental issues" for wanting someone he can't (presently) have? If he's able to do alright without needing to be in a relationship, just finding someone else would be majorly settling... there's no reason to do that.
If a girl isn't into me, I don't think she has problems for not recognizing how awesome I am (and I totally am, my mom told me so). A bruised ego sucks but don't lash out, it makes you look like a drama queen from a reality TV show. I sees it, I calls it.seal tags
How does him wanting to date someone other than you make him flawed and undesireable? It's his right to like, pursue and be flabberghasted by whomever he chooses.Move on. There doesn't ALWAYS have to be a bad guy.
I seriously wonder if I'm the guy this post is talking about...
He's not flawed or anything just because he's picked one girl he likes and only wants her. That's a bit rough! I kind of feel that way about someone at the moment it's wierd. I mean if someone else came along and asked me out and I liked them I'd go out with them, but I'm honestly not even looking because I like this one guy even tho he doesn't like me back. How sad is that haha I'm not even talking to him or anything. Now I think about it, bit wierd really haha
So... uh... is it a flaw to be devoted to a single person? I guess this means I must re-evaluate my current relationship.Granted, There are degrees of obsession. But it's kind of silly to assume someone is stupid because they don't like you (the individual) even though you are perfect. Sometimes being a good person or even a perfect person isn't enough to offset chemical attraction. Best thing for you to do is let him pine after the person he loves and just give up gracefully without being unreasonable toward him or the girl who you are better than. Not worth your time, IMO.
@DenimPants@xanga - "So... uh... is it a flaw to be devoted to a single person?"Only if you feel they owe you something in return for it. Of course, people who feel this way are overwhelmingly hypocrites who purposely won't do something for another person if they think he/she expects it.
@T3hZ10n@xanga - I concur. I also think that while we all do Need someone, we can't deny that about ourselves...um, having the strength and good character to wait for the Right person rather than settling just so you aren't alone is the right choice. Thanks for your feedback.
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