August 7, 2013

• Before You Do That, Take a Moment

  

  No regrets, right? Ehhh... it's not always that way. I love to live my life to fullest, live every day like my last, yada yada, however, there are some things I have done, and a day later I think, "Why? Ughhh! I could have handled that so much better! If only, I would have taken a moment to stop and think about it."

  We have all made at least one irrational decision at some point. I'm willing to bet more than half of us have wished we didn't make that irrational decision. Personally, the after-shock is what I usually dread. I've become better at making decisions and thinking before I act, but this has come from making the mistakes in the first place. In the words of, Alanis Morisette "You live, you learn."

  After what I have learned in my twenty-two years of living, I can vouch that my life is much better when I think before I act. Typically, my thinking is rational. Most of my irrational decisions have been made when I am lacking sleep, sick, upset, or I have a dramatic situation sprung on me. Sometimes it's a mix of all of them. 

  I now have a list of simple things I ask myself before making a decision about what I should/shouldn't say/do. 

  1. Am I tired? How much sleep have I had lately? Would I be thinking this way if I was well rested?
  2. Am I sick? Do I just want to lash out, because I don't feel well?
  3. Do I only want to act out because I feel hurt or upset? Will this really be worth it?
  4. I am in a bad situation, but should I do something about it or just walk away? What will the outcome be if I stay in the situation?
  5. What are the possible outcomes of doing/saying this? How will it affect my relationship(s) with people I care about? Will my actions cause problems with my SO? Will it hurt anyone else? Will it create even more problems? Is it even worth my breath or time? How will the other people react?

  I cannot express enough how much asking myself these questions has helped me and kept me out farcical situations.

  After asking myself these questions I still often feel upset, but happy I am not lashing out. So what do I do now?

  1. Often I still haven't made a final decision as to if I should say/do something regarding the situation at hand, because I know I am not in the right state of mind and I should calm down first.
  2. If I am tired, I take nap or have a good night of sleep.
  3. If I am sick, I wait until I am better and feel healthy again.
  4. I wait until I no longer feel so upset and can approach my thoughts with a clear frame of mind.
  5. I think of the pros and cons about what I may do/say. I think back to situations I have been in before. What did I do then and how did everything turn out? Am I in a situation I have been in before and is it with the same people? Is it worth my effort, if the same thing may happen again and again?
  6. I also do things to make myself feel better before acting such as taking a run, writing, becoming lost in a good book, spending time with my little brother, venting to a friend I know I can confide in, taking a hot bath, pampering myself, shopping, making myself look/feel pretty. Everyone has things that make them feel good, so it all depends on what works for you.

  After taking one or more of these steps and I know I can make a properly fueled decision, I usually come to the conclusion that I am going to do nothing and move on. Usually once I feel better, whatever happened no longer bothers me. Even if it does bother me I usually know it's better to let myself get over things over time instead of dealing with unneeded havoc.

  I hope my learning experiences and knowledge I have acquired from them work for you as much as they do me. I can testify thinking before you act is the best thing to do 99 percent of the time.

  • Have you ever made an irrational decision you later regretted? 
  • Have you ever created more dramatic situations through your actions? 
  • Have you ever hurt people you love or lost a boyfriend/girlfriend over something you did? 
  • What did you learn from it and what was the situation?
  • How do you approach bad situations now in your life?
  • Do you think you can ever apply my advice to your life? 
  • How do you pick and choose your battles? 
  • What are steps you take beforehand? 
  • Lastly, are you in a bad position right now?

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  • 6:30 pm
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