August 7, 2013

  • Should I Let Him Buy Me a Drink?


    For my 21st birthday, I gathered a group of friends and went out to one of the best clubs around. At one point during the night, I was approached by a totally cute, totally hammered guy. “What are you drinking?” he asked. I told him. He then asked if he could try it. In a matter of seconds, the stubble-bearded stranger had downed the rest of my Apple Pucker and Sprite. Without thinking, I flirtatiously sputtered out, “So, you’re gonna buy me another drink, right?”

    The guy, whose name I later found out was Nick, stumbled and smirked. He said, “If you go over to the bar with me, and talk to me and stuff, I’ll buy you and your friend a drink.” I was in no position to turn down free alcohol, especially on my 21st. I followed Nick to the bar. 

    As we got comfortable, I wondered if I had made a mistake. Since I’m in a relationship (Mercedes was just across the room), I didn’t want to give Nick the wrong idea. Although he just offered to buy me a drink, I knew that this action usually has a few implications. I mean, there are entire songs dedicated to buying girls drinks. In our club-obsessed society, buying a girl a drink means you’re into her. It may even mean you want to go home with her. Shit. 

    For a transient moment, I also wondered if Mercedes would care; I assumed – correctly – that she wouldn’t. When you’re five years in, you don’t get threatened by random people (and in our case, especially men) at a bar. Still, I cared about Nick’s feelings. I knew I would have to be upfront with him – I didn’t want to be a tease or a lead-on. 

    Just as I was trying to think of a way to bring up my fiancée, Nick noticed my engagement ring. He asked if I was engaged, and I told him that I was – to a girl. True to his frat-boy nature, his eyes lit up immediately, and he wanted to hear all about my relationship. He assured me that he was “cool” with lesbians, and I assured him that my fiancée wouldn’t mind us having a drink. We chatted for the next fifteen or so minutes, I thanked him for the drink, and I returned to my friends. Nick was a sweetheart, and luckily for me, when he bought me a drink, he wasn’t expecting anything more than cocktails and a conversation.  

    Has a stranger ever bought you a drink, or vice versa? Does the drink come with a side of implications, or is it really nothing more than a drink? Should you let someone buy you a drink if you’re in a relationship?  

    Image Source

Comments (6)

  • I don't think it's a big deal as long as you let the person buying the drink know nothing's coming out of it. I've actually had female bartenders buy me drinks before right in front of a girlfriend and she thought it was pretty hilarious. As long as you're cool and you know your partner doesn't care and is secure enough in the strength of your relationship, it's harmless.

  • I don't let guys buy me a drink, it makes me feel obligated. I know everyone's different, but I really feel like they only buy you a drink to get something out of it. I don't have a chip on my shoulder at all haha

  • "I know everyone's different, but I really feel like they only buy you a drink to get something out of it."That is not what it means to feel obligated.Definition: "Bind or compel (someone), esp. legally or morally."If you want the alternate definition of "obligation" it means "by necessity".Obviously you don't feel like you morally owe the person something they want if they buy you a drink... so it can't be that definition. Of course, you have the option to turn down the drink and nothing is occurring as a result of necessity, so that can't be your definition of it.Giving the word "obligated" a negative connotation says a lot about your character, and nothing good.Obligated is a similar concept to the word "owe". That would be like saying "I feel like I owe her money."... well, if I do, then I should feel that way. You don't feel obligated. You feel cheap.

  • I've never let a guy buy me a drink, unless I was out with him already, on a date.  Otherwise, it's just not a smart idea, plus some guys can be assholes about it.  As for being in a relationship and letting a guy buy you a drink, that's problem up to you, your morals, and your relationship with your S.O.  I'm a one-man woman, so yeah, that would be a NO for me.

  • I've honestly never had a bad experience with someone buying me drinks. We always chat, are friendly, I'll occassionally dance with them and that's it. I don't do the club thing much anymore but I admit I never asked/allowed someone to buy me a drink while in a relationship. My first serious relationship, my ex was very possessive and not very willing to see me talking to others, no matter their gender. With my current, we just haven't hit the bars much. I honestly don't think he'd be thrilled with the idea though. It's definitely a standard that if someone buys you a drink, you're offering them your time to drink with them, and that alone would be awkward, I think.

  • Believe it or not, there are still a lot of women out there who expect guys to buy them drinks, more specifically the real expensive drinks.

Comments are closed.

Post a Comment