August 11, 2013

  • Breaking Up and Making Up: A Dilemma


    I'm not sure what to do at this point in time. About two months ago, my boyfriend broke up with me and I was heartbroken, but I shrugged it off because he said he never felt a spark in our relationship before. That made me mad, but getting mad at the person who hurt me makes it easier to move on. So we decided to remain good friends because I really like him and he really likes me (I thought just as a friend). Well that all changed last night. 

    I went over to his house because he is an officer in a club at my university, and they were throwing a party. He was pretty drunk, I was semi-drunk, and nothing happened for a good while. Then at one point he was in his room and I walked by. I asked him what he was doing and he waved me to walk in. So we talked normally for awhile. He left a little later to go to another party but soon after came back because apparently the party was terrible. When he came back, I was on his bed talking to my friend (his bed became the hangout spot—it's super comfy), and he came over to sit next to me.

    I'm not sure what he said—probably something like, "you want to get it on?"—something super lame but so like him. I jokingly was like, "hell yeah, let's go," because I too am lame like that. He shoo'd everyone out of the room and we started talking like old times. 

     
    A few moments later we were cuddling again like old times. This definitely didn't feel like friendship to me. I was asking him how he felt about what happened (him dumping me) because he's the most honest when he's drunk. We made out but nothing more because well...we are just friends as of now anyway. He finally told me the real reason he broke up with me. It wasn't that there wasn't a spark in the relationship, he pretty much sabotages all of his relationships because he feels like the girls he dates could do better.

    For those of you who watch Scrubs, he's like the JD of the real world. I was happy to hear that because I still really like him, possibly even love him, but I'm also a little down because he's trying to tell himself not to get too close to me because he doesn't want to hurt me again. We fell asleep soon after and that was pretty much the night. I'm confused at to what happened really, and what's going to happen. I'm not sure how to react to him when I see him at clubs on Tuesday. 

     
    What do I do?

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Comments (5)

  • "That made me mad, but getting mad at the person who hurt me makes it easier to move on."As it turns out, my name is Joshhole. Yeah... it is easier to convince yourself you're justified in doing things you normally wouldn't when you find reasons to not like a person. Then when you have to face judgment for doing twisted things to a person you can say "But he said this and it hurt...". Okay, but you did that and I can see why he would say this... actions speak louder than words.In any other aspect of life I don't care, but when it comes to a relationship, playing mind games with yourself has a bad tendency of dragging the other person in with you."I was on his bed talking to my friend (his bed became the hangout spot—it's super comfy), and he came over to sit next to me." Oh Hell, you're an idiot..."Why were you sitting on your ex-boyfriend's bed?""Because it was comfy."Right... that's why."Then what happened?""He asked if I wanted to get it on."No shit... didn't see that coming."Now that we know he's horny and you're in his bed, what did he say his reason was for breaking up with you?""Because he felt I was too good for him."Ahh, no shit? I wouldn't imagine telling you he felt like he could do better might've changed anything in his mind.Both oblivious assholes with hidden agendas.

  • he's lying - you've become the bootycall and you didn't even know it because he's talking like he loves you, but he doesn't really. he's emotionally mindfucking you because he already knows your feelings and knows he can make you give it up by saying things he thinks you want/like to hear. 

  • you're making yourself very available to him without him trying, and he sees this and is taking advantage of it. this is very one sided and you are deceiving yourself if you think he really loves you. 

  • Think about it: why would he leave his own party at his place to go to another party? To see if the crowd was bumpin' and if he could bring any back to his party, including pretty, sexy ladies. Once he saw that it was "lame" he came back to HIS party and saw YOU on HIS bed. Of course he's going to make a move. He's drunk, horny, and you're on HIS bed (like "old times"). Don't be fooled. Unless he's blowing up your phone and begging you to come back, sober, he just wanted some and you were comfortable and willing. Don't be that girl.

  • Simply tell him your worth the risk. You like him enough to almost feel like you love him already, so if he dumps you, he's simply adding wound to injury. If he likes you, tell him he needs to man up and give things a try. If you thought you could do better, you would let him know. And if he thinks you deserve better, for him to start making himself the better person you deserve, for whatever that entails. Good luck, and be safe! :)

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