August 13, 2013

  • Which Camp Are You In?


    Someone once told me that there are two kinds of people in the world of relationships: those who live in the future and those who live day by day.  People who live in the future tend to be those who will only date someone who they consider as having potential (i.e. someone who they see themselves being with on a long term basis down the road).  People who live day by day don't really care about long term partners; they're happier being happy right here and now.  Essentially, what I think it boils down to is whether or not you believe that you can fall in love once and only once or if you can fall in love many different times.

    I sort of imagine it like little people bouncing up and down in two different scout camps.  The orange camp could be for the people who believe that they can only fall in love once and the green camp could be for the people who believe that they can fall in love many times over. 

    Once in a while, there's always that feeling where you might end up in your nineties, sitting in a rocking chair all alone.  For example, five months ago, I had a heartbroken friend who was dumped after a long five year relationship. It wasn't anything dramatic—no cheating, no lying, nothing dramatic; her relationship had just run its course.  However, five months later, she was in a new relationship.  If I didn't know better, I would have thought I was delusional and had mistaken this girl for another who sat on my bed five months ago asking me if I'd visit her when she was old and alone in an old folk's home.

    Part of it might have been a teenage drama queen overreacting but it did really get me thinking, with the sheer amount of things in the world right now, are there really two kinds of dating camps?  I mean, we all move so fast nowadays.  Something that used to be the greatest trend on Twitter 24 hours before could be completely forgotten by the next day. 

    Do those two camps still exist or is there really only one camp now—the camp filled with green shirted, short attention spanned people?

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Comments (6)

  • Those are two end of the dating spectrum and I suspect most of us fall somewhere inbetween.

  • I haven't really dated long term or dated much at all nor have I had any instant gratification flings. I don't obsess over a dream wedding nor have I jumped from relationship to relationship. I'm the elitist diva camp, who lives in a high horse treehouse

  • I'm the type of person who will date someone for the future.  I don't date someone for the now or for the time being because when you're with Mr. Right Now Mr. Forever could come along but you've passed him by because you wanted to settle for less.  It's rude leading someone on.  I had a former friend who would date the most ratchet boyfriends and it's like, wtf is an Ivy League woman doing dating that when she knows he will never be good enough but she still leads him on and ends up breaking up with him anyway FOR that reason.

  • I am not a fan of ideas in which there only exist two possibilities and no other options. Most people I know are unique and never sure of what preconception they belong to. 

  • There's an issue with this that many overlook. I see it all the time. Person A: "I don't see us being together.",Person B: "Well I do."Person A: "Then I must see something you don't."The person who can see him/herself with the other is always at a disadvantage, even if they're right. Not seeing yourself with someone is a self-fulfilling prophecy.Have you ever considered that maybe you don't see yourself with the person because your ass is always assuming you're right and they're wrong? Or maybe you don't see yourself with that person because in the future you're going to break up with them and that is the reason it's not going to work out? I mean, you can't possibly factor in your own future decisions...If you can accurately see far enough into the future to know that it's not going to work out, why are you breaking up with them today? I mean, if you can see into the future and you're breaking up with them today, couldn't you see that you were going to a week ago, and why didn't you break up with them then?What you end up with is a paradox of sorts. If you could accurately see whether it was going to work out even one day ahead of time, you would break up the day before... and because of that, you would've seen it not working out the day before that, and so on. If you could see even a single day into the future, you never would have entered the relationship in the first place.I am of the camp that does not support logical fallacies. If you want to break up with someone, just say you don't like them anymore. Don't act like you're justified in your delusional predictive abilities.@DenimPants@xanga - Agreed. True dichotomies are virtually non-existent.

  • I live in the future, which is a problem because it's ruined the present before. I'm trying to change that about me.

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