August 15, 2013

  • The Dynamic of Champions

    Yesterday I went to get my hair done before going back to school. I was telling my hair dresser about my internship at Datingish, and she seemed quite intrigued. "Oh, honey, you should come sit in at the salon," she laughed, "you'll get tons of stories--and unsolicited advice."

    She started telling me about her eldest customer who always had some relationship advice for my stylist. Now, my stylist is very happily married, but she always welcomes others' tips. One day, this particular customer came in talking about her granddaughter. She is about my age and is having trouble with dating. "The Dynamic of Champions," the elderly customer said, "that's what she is missing."

    The customer explained that her granddaughter was always doing the chasing when it came to men. And while that might work for a night or two, that wouldn't get her what she really wanted—a relationship. "You always want to be with someone who likes you more that you like them," the woman explained. That is the Dynamic of Champions.

    She explained that men usually like the chase. So, if a woman makes it too easy for him (or makes it quite clear that she likes him more), he will eventually run off. If a woman makes herself too available, the man will think he can do better. However, if he likes her more than she likes him, he will be more likely to stick around. This type of relationship has "The Dynamic of Champions."

    Do you agree with "The Dynamic of Champions"? What types of dynamics does your relationship have? 
     
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Comments (9)

  • "However, if he likes her more than she likes him, he will be more likely to stick around."If you act less interested than a guy to get him to stick around, you just proved that a man is more likely to stick around with you... a woman who likes him more.Thus the above quote is false.Q.E.D. - Utilizing a truth to one's own advantage consumes it."You mirror me stumblin' through those Old fashioned superstitions I find too hard to break Oh maybe you're out of place."http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=8sKbvN--oH8

  • It depends on the type of relationship you are interested in long term.It can be nice to be pursued, but if, after establishing a relationship that dynamic continues, it can get tedious  and stand in the way of real intimacy. Some people enjoy the cat and mouse, hot and cold, fight and make up dynamic, but I find it exhausting and anxiety producing.I like a more relaxed, really good friends style relationship.

  • I think that this is one tactic for a girl who wants a guy who pines after her, to get what she wants. If you don't want someone who is doting or overly attentive..... or if you don't want stalkers, I vote this tactic is not useful. How you act affects who you attract. and if you play a game to get a guy, chances are later in life you'll be the one who is tired or fake and no one wins. Though, i agree to some extent, that the man should be more attracted to the woman than vise versa-- I do think that it has to be very slight, and not about looking like you don't care when you are in-fact attracted to them and they to you.So i say that this woman's philosophy of Champions are for only some people 

  • Someday people will realize that being really good at DATING is nowhere close to being really good at being a SPOUSE.

  • I think the problem with this dynamic is that there will always be a weak link in the relationship that's at a disadvantage. I mean, it's true that the person who cares least typically controls the relationship, which is what she's getting at in a way, but I think a good balance is what everyone should aim for.

  • it looks weird when someone's nose is smooshed against someone else's forehead....

  • @fragility_beautiful@xanga - lmaoo that's exactly what i thought when I saw the pic

  • I'd prefer to be with someone who likes me about as much as I like him. If one person's way more interested than the other person, the balance will be off, no matter who the more interested party is. I don't really like being around guys who really, REALLY like me if I don't know them well enough to know how I feel about them. Then I feel like I always have to be careful not to lead him on.My frustration is that either there'll be some guy whose decided he has to be with me when I don't know how I feel about him and then he's always in my space, calling me, trying to hang out, or I'll have gotten to know someone and finally realize I'm attracted to him and he just sees me as a friend.

  • @AsylumBlue - True. And I sometimes wonder, why this need to control the relationship? I thought the point was to enjoy the relationship.

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