August 17, 2013

  • First Impressions: Meet the Salesperson

    I was reading some blogs this morning and came across a quote that I liked about first impressions, "When you meet someone, you usually don’t meet the real person. You meet their sponsor, or their agent. It takes a while to really know someone..." This little quote made me laugh because I think it's really true to the way people act when they first meet. I would admit at times in the beginning of relationships or during a first date, I am a bit more like a car salesman than I normally am. 

    You hide all of your flaws/insecurities and display all of your best attributes, almost like an interview. And isn't that what a first date really is, an interview? No one wants to buy the car that has a faulty engine and no air conditioning, but you don't see those things with the naked eye. The shiny convertible with a fresh coat of paint and new wheels, that's appealing. Most people wouldn't intentionally buy a car that's got problems under the hood.

    And that's how most people choose to portray themselves on a first date, as the shiny convertible, despite the engine problems underneath. I do think that I tend to sell myself in the beginning but I wouldn't say that the person I am portraying myself as is in any way inconsistent with the person that I actually am. I ended up spending a little time on my back porch sitting in the sun and reflecting on past relationships and first dates.

    Do you believe the person you present yourself as on a first date or in the beginning of a relationship (or really at any point in a relationship) is consistent with the person you really are? Do you think you are ever masquerading as someone else on a first date, or do you lay all of your cards on the table from the very beginning?

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Comments (9)

  • http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=CefU27YmuAEI don't place much (if any) significance on first impressions.If a man's worth is to be determined by his values, let the person who stands to benefit from them pay for the appraisal. I don't see why I should put any time or energy into showing a person why I stand to benefit them.

  • I know more than one girl who intentionally buys cars with problems under the hood...This is another reason why I advocate dating people you are already friends with.  There's no false pretenses or half-truths, nor a need to make a big "First Impression".  Just have to be open to the idea of looking at somebody in a slightly new light... which is, understandably, very difficult for some people.

  • So. I have a few rules for myself when i go out on a first date. 1)  Only answer questions that I am asked.2) Ask a lot of questions.3) If it's a dive, and the date sucks and you don't want to ever see the man one-on-one again, pay for the whole date. And don't ever do it again.4) Don't wear make up.5) Don't wear a pushup bra. ^--- if you lie about any of these things early, then they'll find out (and probably be disappointed) later. These are rules I live by. As for first impressions... I honestly forget people the first time I meet them. It usually takes me two or three times for me to make an impression. So if you are going to sell yourself the first date, then you're wasting your energy with me. I'll only remember the long-run.

  • Lol it's true! My bf always jokingly say I conned him into being with me lmao.Always wear makeup! Lol. Just don't make it too obvious that you are. Skip the fake lashes and the push up bra. Those are things you can "enhance" later on.Ask lots of question! Guys are not the most proactive when it comes to questions.At the end of the date, either the guy will make the move to pay for the date or he won't. If he does, accept it graciously. If he doesn't, pay for your portion (personally, though, I feel like he should fork out for the first date. "What about equality?" Mockers would say. Well that's where the next part comes in.) If you feel bad about him paying for your portion of whatever, then offer to pay for the next event on the list - movie, dessert, etc.

  • I'm kind of hard to get to know, since I'm a pretty private person. I don't lie about anything on a date, but they don't find out a whole lot about me either. I do act a bit more outgoing on dates than I actually am, though.

  • I am me. But maybe that is why i'm single.Perhaps I should start lying more. Thanks for the advice

  • You know this reminded me of a conversation I had with a former friend.  I told her, I don't dress up and look "good" on a first date.  They'll get that if they stick around more.  She then tells me, "No you should look presentable and dolled up for a first date."  If they can't handle me when I look casual, they don't deserve me when I want to look a certain way another day.  I've had mixed opinions anyway...actually I've gotten a lot of compliments that I look better in my natural state and they don't want me to wear make up and all that.  I'm fine either way.

  • Everyone puts on their best on a first date/early introduction. Everyone.. Party manners erode over time...And, no one is perfect, not even me. Thank goodness my spouse loves me and can look beyond the not-so-good parts of me!!

  • I don't really see it so much as meeting someone's representative, because I don't think the first impression is necessarily a lie. It's just not seeing the whole picture. And I think seeing the whole picture of someone on the first meeting would be kind of scary for most people. Everyone has shortcomings, traumas, insecurities...Seeing the good can help us get past that and like the person in spite of the "bad." Seeing the "bad" first puts a lot of people off enough so that they don't look for the good.

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