August 22, 2013
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Life Is Short. Have an Affair.
The title of this post is the tagline for the dating site Ashley Madison. Ashley Madison is like any other dating site: you create a witty profile, put up an alluring picture, and send flirtatious messages to other members. However, Ashley Madison differs from the other sites in one big way – it’s for people who are already in relationships, and want to cheat on their partners.
The front page of the site features an anonymous woman, her left index finger posed in front of her pouted lips to make a “shh” gesture. Her ring finger bears a gold wedding band. Below, the website boasts, “Ashley Madison is the world’s leading married dating service for discreet encounters.” The site also claims to have over 20,715,000 members. Now that’s a lot of infidelity.
To register, you first choose your gender and relationship status. Attached male seeking females? Single female seeking males? Male seeking males? (For the lesbian/gay statuses, it doesn’t ask if you are attached or single.) Later, you provide your “limits,” and must select between the following: something short term, something long term, cyber affair/erotic chat, whatever excites me, anything goes, or undecided. The site also asks for your height, weight, body type, and ethnicity. Apparently the site's users are as shallow as they are unfaithful.
I also checked out the FAQ section of the site. When asked if Ashley Madison encourages infidelity, it said:
“No, Ashley Madison does not encourage anyone to stray... [i]f you are having difficulty with your relationship, you should seek counseling. However, if you still feel that you will seek a person other than your partner to fill your unmet needs, then we truly believe that our service is the best place to start.”
Ashley Madison offers both guest (free) and full (paid) memberships. The website will enter its 12th year in January, and an app was recently launched for smartphones.
Had you heard of Ashley Madison before reading this post? Have you ever used the website, or do you know anyone who has? What do you think about Ashley Madison and the service it provides? Despite what the website says, do you think it encourages infidelity?
Comments (20)
While I don't encourage people to have affairs, I think the site struck gold in reaching out to a large market of people who are curious about having affairs or consider it some sort of fantasy. I never will nor have I ever used the site, but as I understand it and your article mentions, they have a really high user base which means there are plenty of people out there trying to facilitate their affairs.
In general, it doesn't encourage infidelity. In a few specific cases it will be the direct cause of it; the person wouldn't have cheated if it wasn't made to be so easy by another person's or group of people's decisions.
It's encouraging it bottom line. I'm digusted that you even gave this immoral website any attention at all.
It claims it doesn't encourage infidelity, yet markets itself as a place for people who want to be unfaithful. O-kaaaaaaaay.....
Life is short, might as well ruin others' lives for some fun.
I run a hitman service but I'm totally against killing people. [/sarcasm]The concept disgusts me.
a snap on modern slavery, bravo~
"Ashley Madison is the most successful website forfinding an affairand cheating partners""We are the most famous website fordiscreet encounters between married individuals.""No, Ashley Madison does not encourage anyone to stray."wat
it's a Temptation. (In the silent movie of Dr. Jeckle and Mr. Hyde starring Drew's grandfather, John Barrymore, the good doctor is provoked to go over to the dark side by this line..."what good's a temptation unless you give in to it." ) It is difficult to resist temptations. It seems there's a specific temptation that's aimed at each person's specific weakness...greed, lust, envy, gluttony, pride, avarice, sloth, all 7 of them, one of them is your weakness....But people really deep down want to be perfect. Every artist tries and tries until what they have created is as good as possible. Every carpenter does the same. Every fashionista tries to get it just right. So, resisting Temptation is the only way to rise above your specific weakness. They say the only virtue that actually gains heaven is perseverance. Try, try, try again. Fall down 6 times, get up 7 times. So, this site is really a SAD SITE because it glosses over how much real harm it does to people, to children of people involved, and is DESTRUCTIVE to how much love and time and effort we have invested in our primary relationships. ASHLEY MADISON doesn't understand sex, or love. ASHLEY MADISON is a LIE.
My husband told me about this site.
Eh, who cares? Do what you want. If you have good reason to cheat then do so. Yes, there are good reasons to do so. There's nothing immoral about it despite what people think. With the exception of procreation which is wrong in all situations, there is no such thing as universal right/wrong.
My thought process is, if you don't want to sleep with the same person your whole life just don't get married or involve yourself in a committed relationship. There are plenty of people out there who just want to have sex.
I don't have a problem with the site.Maybe it makes it easier for people to cheat, but a cheater's gonna cheat anyway, better to get them to show their true colors early on, I say!Think about it: You're in a relationship, you're not happy/satisfied, you are fully aware of this, but instead of getting the hell OUT of this relationship, you will cheat with intent (Seek out an affair, as opposed to happenstance, not that happenstance is any better, per se, but you know!)Basically, you're a spineless lazy piece of crap. (I don't like cheaters, hehe)Spineless: You're afraid to leave the person you're with because you've been with them so long, maybe you are dependent on them financially, they may keep the dog...whateverLazy: Why leave the person you're with, when you can get something on the side and not be bothered?Piece of crap: Duh.Once you cheat, you're a scumbag, end of story.I don't think I could forgive someone for cheating on me; once you lose that trust you never get it back, you know!I'm sure there are some people who could get over that and to them I say: BULLY FOR YOU!
I have never heard of this site, but this post makes me want to go check it out just to see what the idiots on there are saying. Ugh, cheaters, they should all just go live on a different planet, preferably one with an extremely hostile environment.
used it.not as glamorous as they advertise. not as vile as many suppose it to be.people's marital situations are far more varied and complex than most people realize.
@chaosandtranquility@xanga - I can think of a perfectly valid reason to get marries even if you are like that: tax breaks. If I wasn't tax-exempt I would probably be looking for someone similar to me in that regard to legally marry just so I could pay less income tax.
@Cares2theWind -
@secretbeerreporter@xanga - No there is never a good reason to cheat. Ever. It doesn't matter if your partner won't have sex with you. It doesn't matter if your partner is lousy at sex. It doesn't matter if you aren't attracted to your partner anymore. It doesn't matter if your partner is cheating on you already. There is no excuse for not breaking up with your partner first or coming to an agreement about having an open relationship.That site is despicable, as are the people who use it. Cowards too afraid to discuss polygamy with their partner or too afraid to just break up and go live the single life that they desire.I feel sorry for the unknowing spouses who are very likely to end up with an STD/STI from their partners.
@Syaoransbear@xanga - Unless you have any justification for that besides "I said so" you have absolutely no argument. As I mentioned, there is no such thing as morality, right/wrong, etc. in the end (all of these constructs are entirely artificial) so just do what you want.
In The Age of HIV and various other STDs (like HPV) that are running wild....its pretty stupid to have an affair.Not to mention unwanted pregnancies.
Comments are closed.