August 24, 2013
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Could You Date Someone Who Is Bisexual?
Here’s the scenario: You meet this person named Devin (hooray for unisex names!) and the two of you have an immediate connection. You “click” in a way that you never have with anyone else. You've gone on plenty of dates, and you both think it’s time to make things official. But then, Devin says he/she has something to tell you. You get nervous, and hope it’s nothing that will ruin your potential relationship. Devin takes a deep breath, looks you in the eye, and says, “I’m bisexual.”
Just to note, though I’ll be using the term “bisexual” in this post, you could substitute it out for pansexual (or any other sexual identity in which a person is attracted to two or more genders) and the topic would basically be the same.
For some, this news might be a dealbreaker. Maybe you don’t agree with bisexuality, making a relationship with Devin a moral minefield. Maybe (and I’ve heard this reason cited a lot) you don’t deal with threats to your relationship very well, and you don’t think you could handle Devin being attracted to both men and women. For whatever reason (and I’m sure there are others), you decide to forego the relationship.
For others, Devin’s bisexuality would be a total non-issue. After all, Devin wants to be in a relationship with you – does it really matter who else Devin has the capacity to be attracted to? You choose to enter into a relationship, and that’s that.
I’ve never dated anyone who was bisexual (that I know of), but I don’t think it would pose much of a problem. If Mercedes happened to reveal to me that she’s bi, I really don’t think I’d care. (I’d wonder what guy she met that made her realize she was attracted to men, but as long as she still wanted to be with me and didn’t have feelings for this other guy, I could definitely deal.)
Could you date someone who is bisexual? Have you ever? If you’re bisexual, have any of your partners ever had a problem with it?
Comments (12)
I just wouldn't be comfortable with so much sexual fluidity. And some of that is because I simply lack the equipment. Would my partner ever be 100% satisfied with me if he also desired men at times? At that point, I lack the capacity to love enough. No, I wouldn't be ok with dating someone who identified as bisexual. Because I am not both sexes. And I have to be with someone who I can fully satisfy.
"After all, Devin wants to be in a relationship with you – does it really matter who else Devin has the capacity to be attracted to?"If a person's policy is strictly monogamy "bisexual" is indeed a meaningless term. There are a few exceptions, but I agree with the sentiment you expressed for the most part when it comes to sexual urges.It is possible to feel a certain way and choose to not act based on that feeling. Otherwise, anyone who has ever felt like ripping another person's head off would be labeled a murderer. So why identify others based on their feelings when it comes to sexuality? Who knows... probably because it's convenient.
When there are roughly 571,000 women in the world in his age range, there's really no reason to give a damn about adding roughly 594,000 men.
no....i could not.
i'm bisexual. none of my partners have had a problem with my sexuality. in the past, it actually helped us explore some during our relationship.
of course, i'm monogamous when my partner needs me to be. to the topic, it has effected my relationships with suspicions about crushes (who were just friends), etc but it's never been a deal breaker from the start. i think it depends on the person. on the flipside, we won't want to be with anyone who does have a problem with our sexuality. no one wants to surround themselves with a SO that doesn't accept them fully.
I would thank him for telling me. I would not be interested in dating him. Friendship? yes. Relationship? no
It would be a non-issue for me. They chose to be with me, so the issue of who else they could be attracted to wouldn't bother me. No matter who you're with, they could always become attracted to someone else. They could choose to leave you to be with that person. Or on the flip side, you could become attracted to someone else. The relationship working out or not working out has more to do with how much both of you want it to work out and are willing to work toward that than anything else.
Probably not. I am indifferent to homosexuality, except when it comes to my own sexuality. That is to say: men who are attracted to other men turn me off, romantically speaking.
If they were a person who is happy to be monogamous, that's OK by me. If they feel they need to have access to a partner of each gender and want to have multiple partners I would not be able to be in a relationship with them. I am not comfortable in poly or open relationships.
I am a lesbian and I can't date any female that is bisexual, I did try to date a female that was bisexual and it did not work at all. I say this because I was always concerned with her leaving for her ex who was a male. I think that in all honesty that bisexual's are really confused people that want there cake and to eat it to! Just saying but that is my personal opinion..
Bisexual guys... yes. I'm a little more leery of bisexual girls (let's face it... a LOT of them will date other girls for attention and then run off as soon as a cute enough guy, which is what they really want, thinks they're hot because 'they make out with chicks'), but I'll date them if they seem genuinely interested in me.What a person is capable of finding attractive doesn't necessarily matter if they're willing to commit to YOU.
@prettyboy_bagel@xanga - What if a bisexual person's opinion is that being on either side of the spectrum (gay or straight) is being close-minded and bigoted?The reality of the situation is you didn't choose to be attracted to women. Straight people don't choose to be attracted to the opposite sex. Bisexual or pansexual people do not choose to be attracted to both. It just happens.I have made up my mind. I don't want to "have my cake and eat it, too". I just want to love whoever I'm with without other people having hurtful and incorrect "opinions" about it, stated as fact.
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