August 25, 2013
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Don't Pick Up These Pickup Lines
Pickup lines: we’ve all heard them, and we’ve probably all used them (even if only in jest). Some are hilarious, most are hilariously bad, and a few might actually get a guy’s or girl’s attention. Here, I’ve compiled some funny, dirty, cute, and awful pickup lines, along with the best pickup line I’ve ever heard, all for your reading pleasure.
Funny(ish)
- Baby, are you a parking ticket? Because you’ve got “fine” written allll over you.
- How much does a polar bear weigh? (I don’t know, how much?) Enough to break the ice.
- Are you from Tennessee? Because you’re the only ten I see.Dirty
- I made sure I washed my face today, because I wanted to give you a clean place to sit.
- Do you have a mirror in your pants? Because I can TOTALLY see myself in them.
- Would you like to try an Australian kiss? It’s like a French kiss, but down under.Cute
- If I could rearrange the alphabet, I would put “U” and “I” together.
- Do you have a map? Because I keep getting lost in your eyes.
- Did it hurt? (Did what hurt?) When you fell from heaven?
- Are your legs tired? Because you’ve been running through my mind all day.Awful
- Hey, do you come from a family of terrorists? Because you’re the bomb!
- Whoa, was that an earthquake, or did you just rock my world?
- Is your name Summer? Because damn, you are HOT.
- Excuse me, I lost my number… can I have yours?And the best pickup line I’ve ever heard is… “Hi.” It’s simple, it’s direct, and it shows more confidence than the dirtiest of lines.
So, should you ever really use pickup lines to get a guy/girl? Except for the last one, probably not – but that doesn’t make them any less fun to talk about or say to your friends.
Have you ever seriously used a pickup line, or has anyone ever used one on you? How did it go? What are some other pickup lines that you’ve heard?
Comments (15)
Hmmm.... if a guy uses the "Australia" pick-up line on me, he'd better follow through!
I've never felt the need to use pick up lines and the most common one that people always say to me is, "I've never had an Asian before" like that's supposed to make me attracted to them or something. If I'm at a karaoke bar and some song comes on and I'm sitting next to a cute guy I want to talk to, I'll serenade him
That's what happened a while ago and he was laughing the whole time.
I'm 4'9. Someone once asked me to be his "my size barbie."
i think pickup lines are awesome, corny and make me smile..!
You are the best looking guy I've seen ...in the last 30 seconds!
When I used to date, the line that'd never fail me, "I'm so terrified, so would you mind if I sat next to you and watched you smile?"
Math major pickup line: Baby, I wish I was your derivative so I could lie tanget to your curve.
You want to hear my pickup line about pizza?
Nah, it's too cheesy xD
damn, girl. i wish you were my big toe so i could bang you on my coffee table.
i had others too which are skipping my mind
Someone did say to me I want to meet your mum, or I want to play on your playstation 2 .
IF I've heard a line before, I assumed it was meant to be funny, an ice breaker. They do work in that capacity. The dirty ones will get a certain kind of girls attention, which is what the guys who use those are looking for. If a guy ever uses the cute ones on me, I think he is sweet since he could have been vulgar or lame but was respectful and kind instead, while still communicating his attraction.
I don't think it's very common to use these though. I'd guess 1 in 10 guys uses them. The one I hear most often is, "Where do I know you from?" Which is really genius, if the girl doesn't suspect it is a line (or thinks you're hot). She will automatically start rambling off where she works, where she hangs out, where she went to school, what gym she uses, etc.
The pickup line that has worked best for me is having a pulse and being in the general vicinity of a female. My ratio for success to failure in her being interested is around 16 to 0.
If I had to come up with a pickup line, it would probably be something like this for dating:
"Hey, you with the hair and face paint. I'm curious to learn pointless things about you like where you're from, what you like to do with your free time, and what your favorite things are as though there's a formula for determining whether I would like to spend more time with you in the future, but like every human being who has ever been in a relationship, my decision will be based entirely on how I feel on a daily basis and not on any sort of logic or reason, but I'll act like it is just so I can feel like I'm doing something purposeful with my intellectual resources while I squander them on things nature has enabled me to do purely by instinct."
And something like this for sex:
"Wanna fuck?"
"I lost my teddy bear, can I sleep with you?"
and, voted the best pickup line by the internet...
"Does this rag smell like chloroform to you?"
My pickup line is simple, "Omelette du fromage". (yeah, I know it's supposed to be 'au' and not 'du')
I've also used, "Hey! Don't smile
" (while putting on a cute smile). The effect is supposed to be that when you hear it, you have to smile. But unfortunately, it didn't work out so well. Almost every girl I tried it on, gave me a WTF face. Thus, it's not a pickup line. But it does work once you get to talking to people. It's the 'follow up line"... sort of?
Hm, I actually like these lol. usually guys do boring pickup lines like "hi, you're pretty
can we talk" I guess it's sweet but I prefer funny and hilariously awful like the family of terrorist one above hahaha.
My faves are nerdy mathy ones, the one my s.o made up that I love is "from a scale of 1-10, you're a log base 2 of 1024." I wish I came up with something that awesome.
Some of the ones I like from the internet:
"I don’t like my current girlfriend. Mind if I do a you-substitution?"
"hey girl what's your sine? It must be pi/2 because you are the 1" (this one is the best!)
"You and I add up better than a riemann sum."
"Baby, you make my floppy disk turn into a hard drive"
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