April 22, 2017
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Seeing Double: My SO Looks Like My Ex!
Awkward.. but mine does. Sometimes I look and .. I just see my ex. Not that he's constantly on my mind, but they look very similar and it's not just me that thinks that way. I feel bad and weird, and I try to just look away because it's only when my boyfriend's eyes are closed, but I don't know what to do. I don't want to be seeing my ex, which ended on bad terms by the way, when I see my boyfriend.
What would you do in my shoes? Is there even anything possible or is there something underlying?
Comments (23)
My husband has an extremely similar personality to a man that I once loved... this man is dead now.
(Sadness) and it is DEFINITELY weird when people meet him and are like, "Wow, he acts like" - and I'm like, "Yeah, I know..." >_> I honestly think you should talk to your BF about it. Remaining open with one another is key, and if he knows, then when it happens, you won't have to feel guilty about it 
My husband looks nothing like my ex. But he wore cologne one time that my ex used. I just told him about it. And he laughed. And still wears it..hahahaha. We (me and the ex) actually ended on good(ish) terms. But as time went on he started to dislike me strongly for whatever reason. I haven't talked to him in like 3 years or something.
I never go for a guy that looks like that ex. Because I'll end up thinking of my ex more than my SO
Get him a coupon for plastic surgery.
@Schristian@xanga - Agreed. =P
You have a type as far as looks go. No big deal. Just remind yourself that he isn't your ex and focus on the things that make him different. It might be a bit harder if they have similar personalities. In the past I went for guys that looked and acted the same. My hubby looks nothing like any of the guys I have ever dated.
My SO looks so much like my ex, everyone thought me and my ex got back together when we first started dating. I don't talk to my ex and the thought of ever being with him grosses me out. At first it bothered me a lot and I would try to not get as close to my SO on purpose because it reminded me of the days I spent with my ex. But after a while, I got over it and now I don't see an ounce of my ex in my SO.
well your ex must have been good looking if you went for a man who looked similar.his personality is probably better too. so, i guess you just got the total package this time? ha.
Maybe you just have a thing for guys that look a certain way.
How long was it before you dated this guy after your breakup?
I've been asked if it's weird to me that my boyfriend looks like my cousin. ha! i never noticed the similarities until it was pointed out to me, but it doesn't bother me. Also, my best guy friend got dumped by his girlfriend and she started dating my ex... and they look identical! (weird love triangle.. i know..haha)
It's possible you're just into certain physical attributes.. I think I tend to go for guys who look really calm and whose eyelids are slightly lowered. All the guys I've dated have also literally been 142-155 lbs and between 5'11" and 6'1"
It's a trap! Quickly! Pull off the wig! He's badly disguising himself to win you back!Ask yourself this: Have you seen them in the same room together?D:
Oh man, I almost went out with a guy that looked exactly like my ex after breaking up.. that would've been bad considering I would've looked stupid since he was a cheater and everyone knew.My current is the complete oppposite of my ex - my ex was reallly dark skinned,dominican, while my SO has a caramel complexion,is puerto rican and is WAY* more handsome. I don't really know what I'd do..kind of hard to tell :-/
That may be trouble for me because when I see someone who even looks SORT of like my ex, my instant reaction is to almost fly into attack mode. ...I've never gotten past making fists, but if I ever see him again. Attack mode.
This happens a lot in Korea
I have been in this situation a couple of times, and it seems slightly weird but the truth is this; some of us have a type. Now there are people who date a variety of people who look nothing alike but there are those of us who stick to people who look a certain way. It's not really prejudice, but most of the time it's just what we want in a man or woman. It's what feels safe to us, or what feels normal. I won't lie, I do have a type of guy (and girl) that I tend to go for. I'm not ashamed that most of my boyfriends look alike, and I'm not really weirded out by it either. It's kind of normal, for me at least.
@my_horizon@xanga - Damn just outside your range. 6'2" and around 160 right now. (used to be 140-150)I keep getting attracted to people who look like my ex, but then I push them away because I know the main reason I'm attracted is cuz of the resemblance. I have another friend who always dates guys who look the same...it's strange.Reminds me of the song by Usher - You Remind Me. I dunno though, just try to focus on the fact that this guy is his own person and not your ex. And also ask people to not bring up the fact that they look alike because it's weirding you out hehe.
Ha ha, I love this question! Hmm… You can say you hear voices telling you to kill other people. You can say you hear voices telling you to chase an imaginary ice cream man down the road for a bowl of spaghetti. I don’t know. You don’t have to say things that are totally violent like, I want to kill myself or other people. You could say that trolls are planting cameras in your house and spying on you, then posting them all over youtube. I don’t know, you could also say you always have the urge to steal things, such as cars or wallets, or you can say you think that you are somebody else and this person does bad things. Just one question, why are you asking this question, I’m not judging you or anything, I like the question and now a flood of ideas for getting yourself comitted is inundating my head! AHHH! I don’t think you want to be in a psychiatric hospital (politically correct term)! They have sucky food, my freind says. I was never and will never be put in one of those, and if I was, I’d have fun playing in the padded rooms. I don’t know. :pReferences :
@JusticeCho@xanga - haha that isn't to say I refuse to date outside my range, it just happened to be like that. Besides, a guy being a little taller isn't exactly the worst thing that could ever happen.
@my_horizon@xanga - Hehe I would hope it wasn't like a specific requirement. "Oh you're 6'2"...damn that's too bad you were almost good enough...ok see ya."
No, my ex and current SO are very different, both physically and mentally.However I have gotten weird comments on how my SO and I look like brother and sister. Just because we're both tall, thin, pasty white skinned, brown curly hair-having, dark-eyed people.Shucks..
I guess you just have a type. There's nothing wrong with that. (:Focus on the things that make them different and that make you current SO better than your ex.
My ex was kind of chunky. The guy after him was never officially my boyfriend or anything, but we hung out all the time and both really liked each other, but he had multiple girlfriends throughout our "relationship". Then I met my now-husband and he's perfectly wonderful.Something they all have in common is that they all did/do drugs. The first two still do them, which is a big reason why they're no longer in my life. And my husband used to do hard drugs when we started dating, but with my help he got clean and now life is amazing. Oh, and the other thing they all have in common.... They're all redheads. I didn't do that on purpose. P: