Last semester, I was talking with my friend, Kelly*, who had a special friend coming to visit her on campus in a couple days. She said he was gorgeous, and they always had a kind of flirty relationship in high school. During summer break of our freshman year, they started hooking up. Now he was coming to visit and she could not be more excited. Everything was going to be perfect. Well, almost everything. Continue reading
Yesterday, I pondered the question, “Should You Ever Settle?” The resounding answer, according to the comments, was “no.” Tonight, as I lie in bed and listen to Regina Spektor, my slumbering fiancée, and an oscillating Walmart fan, I’m pondering something else about settling – specifically, settling down.
Many people, at some point in their lives, decide that it is time to “settle down.” Generally, this means to stop dating around in favor of finding someone (or a few someones, if you’re poly) to make a life (and possibly babies) with. However, I can’t help but to notice that some people attach a negative connotation to settling down. They act as if it is a dreadful duty, as if it is something that will stop them from living a full life. This makes me wonder: is there something wrong with settling down? Continue reading
You've met what seems to be someone you connect to. It begins with bantering, flirting, arguing and acting like a married couple...except you both work together. And granted maybe this "thing" was born out of the fact you and him were around each other 40 hours a week. Maybe it started that way, but as time went on, there was a dynamic you two shared that co-workers took notice to, people start calling him "your boy" or just began watching you two like a tennis match (QUIET PLEASE) to see what happens.
Your personal lives become knowledge shared between you, you know about his life, he knows about the fact you're taking an anti-depressant because you are having a hard time dealing with your grandfather's death, you know about the girlfriend he's living with, but is seemingly unhappy with.
So despite putting your heart out on the table, not once, not twice, but three times (and no ladies and gents, third time was NOT the charm), it seems as if you never really ever found out if this "thing" was just a work fluke, or if it could've been developed into something more. Or even if he just felt a little of the same way. Okay, maybe that last part isn't exactly true. Maybe he did tell you something.... Continue reading
I'm not sure what to do at this point in time. About two months ago, my boyfriend broke up with me and I was heartbroken, but I shrugged it off because he said he never felt a spark in our relationship before. That made me mad, but getting mad at the person who hurt me makes it easier to move on. So we decided to remain good friends because I really like him and he really likes me (I thought just as a friend). Well that all changed last night. Continue reading
I guess to start, I'm in a pretty weird position right now. I've never been involved in something so complicated like this.
My boyfriend (if I can even call him that anymore) and I have been together for roughly 14 months. We've had many complications, fighting a lot and barely spending time together. As of late, things have hit rock bottom. We haven't kissed in three months, which is when we had this horrible fight on our 'one year' and nothing's been "perfect" since then. We haven't had sex since October-November, and he hasn't legit told me he loves me even further back than that. It's been a hell of a road, that's for sure.
A few days ago we had a talk where I ended up telling him EVERYTHING that's been bothering me for months on end. That didn't go so well because not only was it over AIM, but we bickered back and forth, and cursing wasn't out of the question, either. I really had hope in us, that we'd last for a long time, if not forever (because I don't believe in that). Continue reading
To “settle” is to accept something less than what you want or think you deserve. (The word means a whole bunch of other things too, but for the purposes of this post, let’s just go with that definition.) Someone might agree to have a less-than-ideal car or apartment, or perhaps a less-than-ideal job. But should you ever agree to have a less-than-ideal partner? Should you ever settle when it comes to relationships?
I’ve personally never settled for a partner, but I guess I can see why someone would. Let’s say there’s this person named Taylor (a wonderful unisex name) in your life, and Taylor really, really likes you. And though Taylor is attractive, funny, and seems to be a pretty decent human being, there’s nothing really special about Taylor. You don’t get butterflies when the two of you hang out, you can’t really imagine a future with Taylor, and you don’t necessarily want to be with Taylor. That’s a no-brainer then, right? Don’t get into a relationship with Taylor, right? Continue reading
With a long distance relationship, you sometimes get a package deal including anxiety and stress, hence why it's not for the weak-hearted. However, even the strongest person can have their downfalls. You'll always feel the oncoming pressures of life and the distance pulling at you, especially during the times you really need someone to hug and to hold you. Then there are the scary thoughts, "is he going to leave me?" "does he still love me?" "does he think of me too?"
We women always set off bombs like that in our heads and over-analyze things to the point that it explodes. In a long distance relationship, it's harder to get over some of these situations or at least try and see clearly when our own emotions smack us in the face. I try so hard not to ask these questions with my fiancee, but there are times I just break down and ask. Of course he's never irritated, but I feel after I've asked him, I've questioned his feelings for me and hurt him. Continue reading
A few months ago, my fiancée and I got into a pretty bad argument. I don’t remember what started it, but I do remember that I said a lot of things that I didn’t mean. I talked about what a breakup would mean for the two of us: what would happen with our apartment, our car? I didn’t really want to break up, but I did want Mercedes to react to the things I was saying. Without fully realizing it, I was testing her. Continue reading
Last night, I was speaking with my friend, Susan*, and her mom as we baked cookies. We were chatting about the select few couples that are still going strong from our high school days. We got to one specific couple that my friend claimed was always fighting. She said the main problem was that the girl was quite high maintenance. However, I mentioned that this girl had always been high maintenance, and her boyfriend knew that from the beginning.
I realized it seemed as though the more demanding, high maintenance girls were the ones in relationships. I told Susan and her mother that I would feel ridiculous asking a guy to take me shopping or to rub my feet or basically to do anything at all. Yet, it seems like that is what half of the relationships I see are. People my age (and younger) seem to like to act out dramatic relationships where they completely rely on each other for everything. Susan agreed claiming that she would never tell a guy what to do. She said she knew so many down-to-earth girls who would never be so demanding. She sighed, "We would be the best girlfriends, and for that we will be single for the rest of our lives." Continue reading
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