July 22, 2017
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Who Gets to Keep the Pup?
One of the biggest steps a couple can take is deciding to share their lives together and start a family. For most, this means having a baby (or two). But then there are some couples who need a smaller step towards this or they are just the type of people who do not want to have children. Instead, they might get a pet. Sharing the responsibilities of taking care of a pet mimics what it might be like to raise a child together.
Clearly, there are some HUGE differences, but caring for a dog or cat may prepare a couple to have a baby. In some cases, it might even deter them from having children. Whatever the case may be, lots of couples choose to expand their family and further their relationship by owning a pet.This sounds like a great idea for couples because caring for a pet teaches you how to be more responsible, manage your money and time better and to care for another being that depends on you for all of their care. Plus, let's face it... pets are just so damn cute!
Realistically, though, not everyone stays together.So what happens if the two people break up? This becomes a problem because pets usually become such a big part in our lives and are even thought of as part of the family. However, the rules are so much more clear cut when in comes to children. There are no laws that I am aware of that indicate what should be done when a pet is involved.
I know there have been some cases in which couples will decide to have joint custody of a pet. I suppose each person would have a designated amount of time to keep the pet and then switch. I'm sure this could get very complicated, but seems like it would be the only option if neither person wanted to give up the pet.
Naturally, in other cases one person will just decide to keep the pet. This tends to be the case more often when the pet originally belonged to one person before the two people even entered into a relationship.
I wonder if there has ever been a case in which a couple just decided to give the pet up to a third party because they could not come to a civilized agreement.
All I know is, no matter what I am keeping my Kuzco!
Have you ever been in the middle of a break up that involved a pet? How did you resolve the problem?
Comments (16)
I got my cat while I was with an ex. I was the one who kept her after the split, mainly because I thought it was only fair seeing as I took care of her and all her expenses by myself. That and...there was no way in hell he was taking my kitten away.
I wouldn't buy a pet with anyone until I was engaged or better, married. If I bought a pet it would be my pet. If he bought one, it would be his.
As an animal lover, specifically Dog Lover, I dislike when couples who aren't married just bf/gf get pets. They split up then they return the animal to the shelter because they don't want to keep something around that reminds them of their ex. It's not fair to the animal for jumping from home to home. You should only get a pet if it's yours and yours alone, or married. I do commend those who are keeping the pet and not letting an ex get in the way of keeping it. No, I have not been in this situation. She's mine and my family's pet so I don't have to worry about that.
I got a dog with my boyfriend. Then we got married and our dog was the ringbearer in our wedding. If we had split I would have taken the dog simply because I liked him more, it didn't seem like a difficult decision.
yeah, I don't think I'd ever buy a pet "together" with a guy, even if we lived together. It would either be his or mine from the get-go, for not just the break up reason, but other decisions that need to be made for the dog. Especially if finances are involved (medical care) and we have yet to become financially intermingled.
A few months after I moved in with my current boyfriend, I got a puppy. It was intened to be MY pup though see? So IF we were to break up, which I hope and pray does not happen, she would go with me. Anyway, anytime she eats a hose, I am expected to buy a new one for example. My pup. My responsibility!!! Though we call our 2 dogs, OURS, we say his dog is 49% mine and 51% his and vice versa for mine. Communication is the key to avoiding these issues.
My ex got my dog for me, as a gift. When we split up, I had taken a job as a flight attendant and was in AZ for training (I live in AZ now, I lived in OH before) ... We had left Acer (the dog) with a pet sitter until I could get established, paid her a bit of money and I guess he ate her $200 sunglasses, so she decided to take him to the pound. I called my ex to get him to get Acer out, when he wouldn't, I called and asked my mother to. Because he wasn't willing to even HELP with Acer in that situation, I took the dog. To this day he asks how 'his dog' is on the rare occasion that we talk.
I came into my current relationship with three cats, my SO with one. I would take my cats, he would take his. I've thought of fostering a dog, and I've wanted to get a dog together in the past but my SO refuses and I think he has the right idea. It can get messy and it's better left if there are clear cut rules about who gets to keep their pets. Unfortunately, they don't speak and it's up to us to make responsible decisions for them. In my last relationship, we did get pets together but as rocky of an end as it was, we split our pets as best as we could. The pets who were attached to one another stayed together and the ones who were more loners had the chance to stay as they wanted to as well. I kept my two brother cats together and my ex ended up keeping one cat who didn't have any noticable preference over who she wanted to stay with. She also kept one cat we got together who had an obvious attachment to her, while I kept the cat's sister who was attached to me. Fortunately, the two cats didn't spend much time together. We didn't feel it would damage them. I think we handled it responsibly and as far as I know, she still has all of the cats. As do I.
I work at an animal shelter, and we get animals in because their owners divorced. It's sad.
If he didn't want them, I would keep every animal we had together (which, once I get my house/farm, will be a lot). But I think we'd definitely have a long conversation about it first. Like, maybe if we both want a dog, we'll get two so each of us can have one if we broke up. But then, I would feel really bad splitting the dogs up. But ultimately, I wouldn't do it unless we were engaged, married, had a house together, etc. I want some commitment before putting an animal through that, just like with kids.
My ex-husband and I had two dogs. I was originally going to let him keep them because I didn't want to fight over them. I just wanted a quick and easy split. When I found out he was spending all of his time with his friends and leaving the dogs in the 100+ degree weather with no food and water for days at a time, though, I told him I was taking them. He was upset for about a week, and I told him he could choose whether I would take them or we'd give them to a third party. Eventually, he agreed that it would be better for me to take them because he "didn't want the responsibility."
@wildchildofthebluemoon@xanga - That's horrible!!
this should never have to be a problem. i am not sexist but i say the female of the relationship should have the say in this matter because a man is supposed to be caring for her even if they break up. not in today's society? i know. but still, a woman should be put first in all things. her needs, her desires..... if she is lifted to this level, the man will also be lifted as well. to have to decide who gets what is painful. but a simple rule clarifies things: ask her first.
I kept the fish after the breakup ...but then when we got back together, we got kittehs. They would not be happy with him if we split for good so I would keep them. I spend the most time with them and take care of them.
I bought a kitten two years ago, and my boyfriend helped me pick her out. He held her box in the car on the way home and was there the whole first day she was at my home. I had her for two weeks before we moved in together, I paid all of her vet bills, and he spent a lot of time playing and caring for her, but there is still no doubt in my mind that she is my cat. The other kitten that wandered into our home last year is definitely his cat. They have attached themselves to us in the proper order, so I suspect that if we did break up for whatever reason (kind of unthinkable after five years), we would have no problem admitting which cat belonged to who. It would still be sad, though, don't get me wrong, and I would hope the breakup would be on good terms so Poptart and Skittles could still see each other. Mostly because they love each other, and I don't know if they would be the same without each other.
I volunteered at an animal shelter as well, and so many people get animals on a whim, such as for a gift, as a bonding experience in their relationship, etc. It pisses me off how many people will just dump the pet when their relationship tanks or when it's no longer a puppy/kitten. So many people want the novelty and not the responsibility.On a side note, please for goodness sake don't buy your kid a chick/kitten/puppy/bunny for Easter. Just don't do it. (Or for any other holiday, for that matter)